"you got to learn to read first."
"will you teach me?"
- mary's co-workers, 12/3

"i'm feeling fruity."
- jc, 12/12

"i wish i was a little girl."
- jc 12/12

"i was talking to him on aim and he said that he was running around naked with a cardboard tube thinking he was a football player."
- mary's co-worker, 12/14

"i just had a sandwich, i'm good for a couple of days."
- mary's co-worker, 12/14

"so if we're totally hung over, we can take a sick day?"
"i think that's already happened a few times in this office."
- mary's co-workers, 12/17

"you can just call me 'master'!"
- mary's co-worker, 12/17

"i'm totally on this shit trip."
- mary @ lord of the rings, 12/19

"everyone is out shopping and accumulating crap."
"no, they're at the grocery store getting champagne so they can get roasted like a peanut tonight!"
- mary's co-workers, 12/31

"pink is a manly color."
- jc, 1/1/02

"i find paper hats fairly funny!"
- funny pants (aka bryan), 1/2

"these are the most fragile chips on earth!  they're like 'they call mr glass!'"
- alyssa @ friday's, 1/2

"i thought you got into a fight with ronald or something."
"no, i ate there."
- mary's co-workers 1/7

"why do we have to walk around like this?  i bet a man designed this parking lot."
- woman & man in parking lot, 1/14

"i finally figured out why it's wet in my trunk."
- mary @ friday's, 1/14

"hey, open up a browser and go to apple.com."
"do you know how to spell that?"
- mary's co-workers, 1/16

"i don't like that little bitch on my team."
- mary's co-worker, 1/16

"it's a nasal bun!"
- alyssa, 1/20

"a hot guy will break your heart."
"men always do that."
- mary & jc @ ixpres, 1/25

"asexual is more natural for me."
- jc @ ixpres, 1/25

"canada just screams love."
- (we don't remember who said this), 1/25

"you're on the road to michael jackson's life."
"i don't want to be that white."
- alyssa & jc, 1/25

"i'm just a lost soul wandering the halls."
- someone overheard at mary's work (not a co-worker), 1/30

"if that were true, i'd be running to subway right now!"
- mary's co-worker, 1/30

"what's his name?"
"i don't remember."
"that's not a good name, it's too long."
- mary's co-workers, 1/31

"why does it smell like beer in here?"
"i think that's me.  i drank a lot of beer yesterday."
- mary's co-workers, 2/4

"there's no cool way to hold balloons, just them fly!"
- mary's co-worker, 2/5

"i'm having a spiritual experience with my meat."
- lee, 2/8

voodoobitch ho (10:36:45 AM): i wanted to get something else, but the only ones i liked were online
voodoobitch ho (10:36:57 AM): and i didn't want to order my mouse pad on line
voodoobitch ho (10:37:01 AM): too geeky

forlornalyssa (11:56:47 PM): my keyboard smells like my perfume
forlornalyssa (11:56:52 PM): the whole wrist thing.
ladykyten (11:57:06 PM): did you bend down and sniff your keyboard?
forlornalyssa (11:57:11 PM): ...
forlornalyssa (11:57:12 PM): yes
ladykyten (11:57:15 PM): ahaha
forlornalyssa (11:57:19 PM): but it's because i was picking up my shoes
forlornalyssa (11:57:30 PM): i didn't say
forlornalyssa (11:57:34 PM): "you look so sniffable,
forlornalyssa (11:57:37 PM): o keyboard."
ladykyten (11:57:42 PM): hahah
ladykyten (11:57:46 PM): i don't know
forlornalyssa (11:57:46 PM): brb
forlornalyssa (11:57:49 PM): taking back that game
ladykyten (11:57:51 PM): that strikes me as something you would do
ladykyten (11:57:54 PM): haha okay
forlornalyssa (11:57:56 PM): yeah yeah

voodoobitch ho (9:41:09 PM): sjfhxml rfe
voodoobitch ho (9:41:10 PM): f serktyoe fawexcriaweyurcW
voodoobitch ho (9:41:11 PM): XREUGTE;XE GTIERV W
voodoobitch ho (9:41:12 PM): 5VY
voodoobitch ho (9:41:12 PM): GTUBVE6BJU DT
voodoobitch ho (9:41:12 PM): VY WE
voodoobitch ho (9:41:14 PM): Tl;ixducgt
ladykyten (9:41:16 PM): go home
voodoobitch ho (9:41:21 PM): HA
ladykyten (9:41:31 PM): heh

h 4pp1e: i was attacked in the bathrrom
h 4pp1e: spidders!@
h 4pp1e: :-(
h 4pp1e: :-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(:-(
voodoobitch ho: the bathroom here?
h 4pp1e: .... yyyesss..
h 4pp1e: :-(
h 4pp1e: :-\
h 4pp1e: i saw this spider on the groud..so i kicked it to see if it was alive.. it didnt respond.
voodoobitch ho: ok
h 4pp1e: i thought it was gonna crawl up my leg and gnaw on my penis... i didn't want that.
voodoobitch ho: BAHAHAHAHHAHA
h 4pp1e: so.. i got done peeing
h 4pp1e: and i looked down..
h 4pp1e: and it was gone
h 4pp1e: :-(
h 4pp1e: i looked on the ground.. everywhere
h 4pp1e: ...and i looked on the back of my pantleg..
h 4pp1e: and.. !@#$!@#$@!$!@#%!@#%!@#$%@#$%!@%!@
h 4pp1e: i started kicking myself
h 4pp1e: hoping to get that little fuck
h 4pp1e: >:o
h 4pp1e: ;-):-(:-(;-)=-O:-(
h 4pp1e: oops
h 4pp1e: it fell on the ground ..
h 4pp1e: and i beat the shit out of it
h 4pp1e:>:o>:o>:o
voodoobitch ho: very nice
h 4pp1e: im still creeped out by it

the plain jane