"did you know when i was little that my dad used to make me sit in front of him at the movies because i was short?"
- mary 02.10.01

"people spell my name wrong all the time and i don't care - i don't care what you call me."
- mary's co-worker 02.13.01

"i never knew where those states were in new england, i figured you would since you're from boston."
"all i know is that boston is on the east and california in on the west."
"and chicago is in the middle."
"yup."
- mary's co-workers 02.13.01

"think about that...pop tarts in vending machines."
- mary's co-worker 02.13.01

(to another co-worker who smokes)"go call dr. kervorkian, it's probably cheaper."
- mary's co-worker 02.14.01

"if i were a girl, i'd fall for him so bad."
- mary's co-worker 02.15.01

"i hate this hill. when i get out of your car, i just fall."
- mary 02.16.01

"you look pink like rare meat."
"i hope not."
"okay, medium rare."
"i don't want to look meaty."
- mary and alyssa 02.18.01

"it's not a meat face! don't look at my meat face!"
- alyssa 02.18.01

"we're going to the bathroom."
"don't fall in."
"i don't think there are any guys to meet in there."
- stacey, mary, and alyssa 02.18.01

"what are you doing in there?"
"we're discussing how to take over the free world."
- guy inside the conference room to guy outside the conference room at mary's work 02.22.01

"everyone likes hockey!"
"no one likes hockey."
"well, i like hockey."
- mary's co-workers 02.22.01

"that's a big meatball."
"it's like a meat meteor... no a meat-eor!"
"yeah, a meat meteor."
"no, a MEAT-eor."
"yeah, i got it."
- alyssa and mary 02.23.01

"if you see any good nachos in there, save them for me!"
- movie theater guy into walkie-talkie 02.23.01

"dress codes at bars at least serve a purpose, they get scumbags like me out of there."
- mary's co-worker 02.28.01

"a cookie for your troubles... no? not even a chocolate chip cookie?"
- mary's co-worker, 03.02.01

"lady kyten... what character is that from?"
"the ultima games."
"haven't heard of them. is that like dungeons and dragons?"
"yeah, sort of."
"at least you're in the right job."
- co-worker and mary 03.05.01

"you look a lot better today. yesterday you looked like death came over you."
- co-worker to mary 03.07.01

"i just want to be loved, is that so wrong?"
- mary's co-worker 03.08.01

"so they put you in the gas chamber after that?"
"yeah, it makes you tear up and cry and everything."
"oh."
- some guy and receptionist 02.02.01

"eureka! ... it's the cheese!"
- alyssa, after finding a hunk of cheese in the nacho dip 01.31.01

"hey, can i sit next to jeff? i need to make fun of him."
- guy at the movies 02.10.01