Every once in a great while, while I am talking to Mary on instant messenger, one of us mentions that we are sick and tired of looking at whatever is the current poll question on The Plain Jane (in the upper right hand corner of the front page, if you are not familiar), and we start to bounce ideas off one another for a new one. You may think this task is easy... It is not. For some reason poll questions are pesky. Gallup pollsters have it easy -- just phone some people about if they think, say, the President is doing a good job, most say No, multiply the tally and, voila, done -- a number that is said to represent the nation's opinion, within a 3-5% margin of error. It is a little different when you have to actually think of the question, plus the multiple choice answers to choose from.

Often our poll question suggestions delve into the totally absurd, followed by a frustrated "Eh, that sucks." Then, like a little elf in the night, Mary stealthily posts a new poll completely different than our brainstorm ideas, and I'm always thankful for the reprieve. A couple months or so until one of us grows tired of the poll question, the burden returns, and the uninspired process begins all over again.

The current poll question -- "Christmas is for..." -- has had some interesting results. As of (peers into computer clock) 3:30 pm, Dec. 22, 2005 the results are: Hibernating and Stomping on Nativity Scenes are in a dead heat for first with 6 votes apiece, followed by Celebrating Jesus with 4 votes, then Getting Presents with 3 votes, trailed by the hapless Being With Family with nada.

The results have left me wondering what does this all mean?

Taking on the mind-set of a Gallup pollster, we might conclude that, if in fact the weird Plain Jane electorate is but a slice of the national consciousness, we are, as a people: A) a lazy bunch that savors our sleep as much as we like consuming cookies and excellent sushi (though never consuming at the same time) B) but will exert our fleeting energy by taking a few steps off the sidewalk to place a few boot stomps to a nativity scene C) yet secretly feel guilty because we have love for Jesus in our hearts D) but are too superficial and greedy to truly celebrate Him because we enjoy receiving stuff that much more E) even if they are gifts from a family we can't stand to be around during the holiday season.

To me, it is an assessment that doesn't sound too far-fetched. But perhaps Mary is correct -- in the end, "we are just being funny." And to this I say, God bless our warped souls, everyone.