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Written by alyssa
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Saturday, 16 December 2000 |
Before seeing Dungeons and Dragons, I had two and a half shots of
tequila. I'm really a lightweight, and I thought this would be more
than enough to keep me amused for the duration of the film.
Unfortunately, I didn't drink enough. I didn't feel the tequila at all,
and you really have to be intoxicated to appreciate this
movie.that.suks.
In a nutshell, all of these fruity people live in an empire
torn between mages and poor people. The fruity empress wants everyone
to be equal, and the fruity evil mage, Profion, wants the mages to have
power. Each of them is trying to get a fruity magic wand, because it
will control the fruity red dragons, and win the battle for its owner.
Two fruity heroes and a heroine try to find it, while Profion's fruity
henchman, Damodar, chases after them.
Damodar wears blue lipstick throughout the whole film. This is
probably its most captivating aspect, generating a lot of lively,
thought provoking commentary from my cohorts and I, such as,"what the
hell was he wearing that fruity blue lipstick for?"
The ending seems cryptic, but really it's just lame (if you
haven't seen it, I'm about to ruin it for you). One of the fruity
heroes dies during their little venture, and the final scene has all of
his best-good-friends standing around his grave being forlorn. The main
hero, Ridley, says a bunch of fruity things to his dead
best-good-friend. Suddenly, a bunch of lame magic stuff happens, and
some divine light comes out of the sky and everyone disappears into it.
Did they die? Did they turn into fairies? Did Ridley finally "realize
his full power" as some kind of fruity magic guy? Did anyone enjoy this
movie enough to care?
This movie bites. |
